Edition Five: Walking

 

Welcome to Edition Five

of

This is Life and Events

Sanely Insane

 

Welcome Dear Reader,

            Today, I am going to tell you a bit about myself.  Obviously, I can’t tell you every-single-thing about me, that would take thousands of pages and you don’t have time for that.  These blogs are intended to be nice, short reads while you’re taking a poop or riding in the car.  These types of things are meant to be digested in one sitting, that really makes the words easier to swallow and all the information much simpler to handle and understand the main picture of the work.  I am opening the door and inviting you inside…of me…wait…umm…you know what I mean.

          Could these pictures be anymore generic?

      For the past nine months, I have been walking every day of my life.  I’m not talking about walking to one place from another for a specific purpose, I literally walk for exercise and keep track of my steps and mileage.  I am in a yearly contest on the ‘Map My Run’ app, the 2021 Under Armor mileage tracker.  Taking a look at the picture provided, I am in the top one percent of all contestants.  That is without any filtering or removal of any people participating.  There are two-hundred and ninety-eight thousand participants, of which I am ranked two-thousand and ninety-eighth.  Hell, early on I was walking multiple times per day, totaling two-hundred and six ‘workouts’ since January 1st. 

         Seriously.  This is not funny at all but I hope you enjoy

       As of this writing, I have walked fifteen-hundred and fifteen miles in those two-hundred and eighty-six ‘workouts’.  Working the math, that comes out to 5.29 miles per ‘workout’.  My desire or goal is to hit two-thousand miles this year.  Technically, I am right on par with that goal, but we will see what happens, we will see if I can keep this pace and self-control pointed in the right direction.  Now, here comes the most hilarious part of this entire thing, I walk it in my house.  My wife hates it, more than anything else on this Earth, she loathes my walking around the kitchen and dining room.  I take a long circle around the kitchen and through the dining room, nineteen steps if done correctly.  If there is one thing we can count on, especially Virginians, the weather is always the same inside of my house.  Here in Virginia, it can pour down rain one second and then the sun can emerge from out of nowhere the next second.


Please, make these funny...this is tough

            The best thing about this exercise, you ask?  Oh, well, I can do anything while I am walking.  I can play mobile games or watch television or read.  Hell, I have actually written parts of my online novel ‘Haunting Naomi’ (on GoodNovel) while walking around my kitchen and dining room.  It is a win-win situation, even when I bump into the corner of the wall or trip over one of the expertly installed floor transitions.  There is nothing a human can’t do when walking circles around the kitchen.  Kid needs help with homework, easy.  Cook dinner, simple.  Everything is a low-risk, easy to accomplish task when walking twenty step laps around the interior of your own house.

            It is believed that walking just thirty minutes a day can provide the following benefits to the human body:

  • ·         Increase Cardiovascular Fitness
  • ·         Strengthen Bones
  • ·         Reduce Excess Body Fat
  • ·         Boost Muscle Power and Endurance
  • ·         Reduce Risk of Heart Disease
  • ·         Reduce Risk of Type II Diabetes
  • ·         Reduce Risk of Osteoporosis
  • ·         Reduce Risk of some Cancers
  • ·         Strengthen Immune System
  • ·         Improve Mood, Cognition, Memory, and Sleep
  • ·         Reduce Stress and Tension

    All of those are excellent reasons to take up walking, I wish that was my rationale for walking every day, three to eight miles per day, however, I have another reason for my incessant walking.  I enjoy candy.  The way I have been able to justify eating two king sized candy bars everyday (and sometimes a quart of ice cream) is by knowing I would be walking a significant distance that day.  As that chocolatey goodness slides down my gullet, I do not have to feel guilty because I know I am going to walk hundreds of twenty step circles later on in the day.


Like this one, it isn't even original.

Take it from me, walk away your sorrows every-single-day and you can eat whatever you want as well.

Trust me, even though I have no medical certifications or expertise and am very slowly gaining more and more weight everyday.  

-JAB / This has been Life and Events - Sanely Insane and I will be your host and narrator for as long as you continue to come through.  

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